At times I think I’ve lost my passion for things.  A year ago I would have told you that I knew exactly what goal I was striving toward, how to get there, and how to define success.  Now, I am not all that positive about any of that.

I cannot tell if it is because I have actually lost a bit of focus or if I have simply moved into a new phase a life, with new surroundings and requirements, that nothing will ever be as clear as before.

All I know is this: I often think, “I dominated everything I did a few years ago, and now I’m not sure if I dominate anything anymore.”

3 thoughts on “Confession

  1. It’s probably because you’re self-aware enough now to realize you’re not doing as well as you once thought you were. It takes time to get comfortable with what you’re doing before you can feel like you’re doing it well.

  2. Hmmm. Maybe so.

    What would you say if I thought it might be the exact opposite though, that I’ve spent too much time at the same thing? In other words, I’m feeling guilty that I am still in school, with 2 more years to go, postponing the real world and going after degree #3.

    Also, we get praised so much more when we are young, that its a bit depressing to age and lose those easy-to-come-by ego boosts.

  3. Well, to be fair, undergraduate degrees are not nearly as difficult as law school, although you may already have a graduate degree?

    If your ‘graduate school’ experience is anything like mine, it likely feels as if you don’t know whats going on. First year of law school is supposed to kick the shit out of you though, and I’m sure the weather in Chicago isn’t helping. SADS maybe? Vitamin D never hurts.

    You’ll probably get back to feeling like you doing well, its just a matter of attacking things from a different angle than you’re used to. Change is usually a good thing, even if it takes forever to see it.

    Maybe that helps?

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