Kyle and I went to a wedding this weekend. It was a perfectly lovely ceremony and reception. The bride and groom dazzled and the guests were ironed and peppy. It had been several years since witnessing my last nuptials, and I had forgotten about them. I had forgotten how they looked. I had forgotten how they felt.
I think often about marriage equality, but less about marriage itself. I need to change that. Last night’s wedding reminded me of what a wedding means to a couple, a family, and a community. If you allow yourself to be swept up into the tradition and ritual of it all, and I did, than you leave with a little more faith in life and love. It just plain makes you feel good.
Sitting at the reception, I was struck by the uniqueness of the moment. The newlyweds are different races; he black, she white. Forty years ago many states wouldn’t have allowed them to get married. Our tablemates were an old friend of mine and her fiancé, and much of our discussion revolved around their own wedding planning. They are both African-American. A century and a half ago, the government wouldn’t have allowed them to get married either.
I don’t have a pithy saying summing up what sitting there meant…watching a newly married couple dance and listening to another plan, each of which wouldn’t have happened in times past.
It just made me want to get married more than ever and feel confident that I would.